Every year, at that time of the day, I’m asking myself :
“Where did the year go?”
And because I like to share my thought with you, I also ask YOU the same question!
This year is a bit different, though, as we can also ask ourselves: where did the decade go!
I created this document precisely to help you with this question. I invite you to Download Your Decade in Retrospect. In this document, you will be led to reflect on the past year, then on the past decade. You don't need to enter any information - it's my gift to support your reflection.
Looking back can be beautiful or painful. It can reopen some wounds, or it can reveal that some wounds have been healed. The joy or the sadness of the events can come back to us as intense as the day it happened – unless something changed, and we can look at it from a different perspective.
And that’s the beauty of taking a longer view at events: it helps you gain perspective.
Let’s say, one year in particular was the most awful year of your life. You lost your job, you got sick, and your spouse left you. But now, a few years later, you have a new and better job, you are healed and actually healthier than ever, you have a new loving mate…
Or maybe it’s the contrary. Everything was wonderful sometime ago, and now, nothing seems to be working anymore.
Truth is, life sometimes seems to be a meaningless series of events, where trying to find growth and progress is futile.
Many years ago, I read the story of the Old Man and His Horse. You can find this story everywhere on the web today, but back then, in the beginning of the Internet, it was not the kind of wisdom I was accustomed to, and it stunned me. The story’s main lesson is: good or bad? Who knows?
I started looking at events through the lens of finding new perspectives, detachment and non-judgment, and it has always served me well.
So, if life is so unpredictable and seemingly random, why should we bother reviewing it?
First, we need to know where we’re coming from in order to know where we are heading. Life may be random, but what we do with it is not.
Second, what we think about events determines how we feel about them. Furthermore, what actually happened is often not as bad as what our memory tells us about it. We humans can be easily offended, as our ego likes to play tricks on us. I’m not talking about the big T Traumas and abuses there, of course. In my experience, the victims themselves often minimize those big Traumas, whereas somewhat mundane issues can send many of us spinning forever!
About 70% of what we think happened in the past never really happened. It is our interpretation, our own retelling of the events in a certain way, that keeps them stuck in our mind. In fact, we can spend a lifetime being pissed at someone for something they never did to us, at least not the way we remember it. This has real consequences on our life. It sets in motion patterns of behaviors that can and will bring similar experiences over and over gain if we don’t learn from them.
By looking at events through a different lens, we will put a different meaning to them. Painful events will lose their sting as we realize that most of them did not turn as bad as we feared, and happy event will yield even more of their joyful and sustaining energy. We will react differently, and we will choose different kinds of actions with different outcomes – better outcomes.
In the document I created for you, Your Decade in Retrospect, I encourage you to dig into this idea of “What I learned from it and how I grew in the past 12 months, in the past decade”. Did you come out as a stronger, more resilient, more patient, more empathetic person?
I also come back time and again to gratefulness.
The most powerful lens to look at your life is that of gratitude. Even if you think there is nothing to be grateful for.
This lens of growth and personal development acknowledges that we can’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose what we do with it, and where we go from here.
Gratitude is the energy of what is already received as a gift. When we have the wisdom to turn everything that happens to us into a gift, even the painful, frustrating and hurtful events, then it doesn’t happen TO us, anymore. It happens FOR us. And from this place, we can change our lives.
So, go ahead, use this document to record everything that happened for you in the last 10 years. Make sure to extend compassion to yourself for the hurts and the pains, acknowledge how far you’ve come, be grateful for the lesson learned, and celebrate your successes.
You are such an amazing person. The world is a better place because of you.
With Joy and Happiness,
Véronique Eberhart, Success Coach
Need clarity to start your next decade? CLICK HERE to schedule your Free Clarity Conversation.